


Touch

by iswyn



Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avenger Loki, But mostly fluff, Fluff and Angst, Loki Feels, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Protective Avengers, Tony Stark Has A Heart, top!tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-04 20:43:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1792600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iswyn/pseuds/iswyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Tony have been together for some time now, but Tony still feels a little like an outsider in his own relationship sometimes. Why doesn't Loki want to be touched?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Touch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [geekinlikeaboss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekinlikeaboss/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [Прикосновение](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2237847) by [Ferzy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ferzy/pseuds/Ferzy)



> This is based on one of geekinglikeaboss' headcanon posts on tumblr. It's not exact by any means, but I think it gets across what we were talking about.
> 
> I know that for anyone who reads my other work this will be odd, what with Tony being the top. It just fit the story better, I promise I'm not changing my world view.

It took Tony a while to figure it out, because on the surface it didn’t really seem to make sense.

See, when Loki switched sides, he still kept himself removed from the team. It wasn’t because people held things against him. Overall, they were a deeply forgiving bunch of people. Most of them had a laundry list of things they weren’t proud of, and Cap was like God. You know, so perfect that he understood and could forgive anything. So while it was a little tense for a while, that quickly faded into the same ‘don’t fuck with one of ours’ mentality that they’d all taken so easily with Bruce.

After all, if Loki wasn’t a bad guy, he was a screwed up sad guy who had spent his life looking for acceptance, and they all understood that.

That he struggled to accept that acceptance wasn’t a surprise to any of them, either. Most of them had lived through that, as well. They really were a band of misfits.

All of that made sense.

The fact that Loki flinched away when Thor tried to slap him on the back didn’t surprise anyone. When it was Captain America trying to pat him on the back, it was a bit more strange. Everyone accepted it, though. So Loki just didn’t like to be touched. Ever.

When he and Loki started having sex, it worried Tony. Well, not worried. Sexual touches didn’t seem to bother Loki, and Tony didn’t like to cuddle like some besotted teenage girl, right? If anything, Tony had always done everything possible to avoid the snuggling after sex.

Even in deep friendships and familial relationships, Tony had never been one for a lot of touching. His mother had tucked him in and kissed his forehead every night when he was a child, but again, that wasn’t something he did. He didn’t have kids, and even if he did, he wasn’t the type to tuck and kiss. He had always figured his wife would do that.

It’s just that sometimes, you know, it’s nice to touch the person you’re sleeping with in a not-necessarily-sexual way. A peck on the lips, an arm around the waist, the whisper of a caress on the cheek. Even after they’d been sleeping together for months, though, Tony tried to avoid all of those things because Loki didn’t like to be touched.

He’d tried, the first few times they slept together, to put an arm around Loki afterward. Each time, it had been shrugged off immediately and Loki had gone to his own room. It’s not like it hurt Tony’s feelings. Loki just didn’t like to be touched. He liked to be fucked into near unconsciousness, and then left the hell alone. Tony got that. He didn’t feel used or anything. Besides, it wouldn’t do to get too comfy. They didn’t want everyone to know they were having sex. There would be repercussions.

The lack of touching began to seem odd when he started staying, though. One night, instead of immediately running off to his bedroom, Loki just sort of… curled up on the very edge of the bed, and stayed. It looked almost like he was expecting to be sent away. It took some real effort for Tony not to curl up behind him and hold him. He looked so alone. But Tony left him there. He liked that Loki had stayed, and if he wanted him to keep staying, he had to play by Loki’s rules.

It wasn’t long after that they realized the rest of the team already knew they were sleeping together. It wasn’t some great surprise revelation, or an awkward ‘so we know you two are fucking’, it was completely ordinary.

Cap knocked on Tony’s door one morning and yelled “If you two don’t want to miss pancakes, you’d better get out here fast!”

Loki was rather a fan of Cap’s pancakes, so he was up, showered, dressed and out the door before Tony could even point out to him that they _knew_. If they hadn’t all known before, Cap’s display meant that they all knew now. As it turned out, they all knew before.

By the time Tony had dragged himself through the same routine, the only reason there was a plate of pancakes left for him was because Loki had saved them. Clint kept trying to sneak in, but Loki reached out and slapped his hand away every time he got close. Everyone seemed amused. That was the last thing Tony had expected. Where was the drama? The shock and horror?

He’d gotten that from Thor, on his return from Asgard. The thing was, because of Loki’s personal touching taboo, it was hard to tell that there was anything going on at all unless someone said something.

It wasn’t Clint’s fault, really. He’d just assumed that everyone knew, because apparently, all of the Avengers had figured it out pretty early on. They thought it was a good thing. A good thing! Something about Loki and Tony ‘settling’ each other, whatever the hell that meant. It was hard to be pissed about it, since it meant Loki didn’t have to sneak into Tony’s room after everyone went to bed anymore. And it wasn’t Tony’s room, anymore, anyway. It was Loki-and-Tony’s room. Tony didn’t ask why he’d been shunted to second name on his own room’s title. He liked the way Loki-and-Tony’s room sounded.

Anyway, they were sitting around the lunch table a few days after Thor’s return, and Clint had nonchalantly asked, “Hey, you two wanna go on a double with me and Nat tonight? We’re gonna see that new Godzilla movie and then go to the Chinese place.”

Tony was in the habit of not answering for Loki, so he just immediately looked to him for a response. He was always up for anything, Loki knew that.

Loki had paused for a long moment, and the table had gone silent. All of them felt the tension, but none of them quite understood it, until Loki nodded. “Anthony and I would like that, Clint. Thank you.”

Tony was rolling the words over in his mind. Their precision meant something. Every word out of Loki’s mouth always meant something. Why specify Tony? Why the excessive manners?

Thor looked confused, and spent a full minute looking from Tony to Loki, and back again. When he finally said something, his tone had chilled Tony. “Precisely what is going on here?”

Loki had stared at his chips looking tragic, as though answering Clint had taken up all the words he had.

Clint had frowned, and opened his mouth, but Tony cut him off with a motion. “What do you mean, Thor?” It was entirely possible that Tony used his best ‘I plan to pick a fight with you’ tone, because Loki had given him a sidelong look that positively begged for placidity.

“What is a ‘double’, and why would you and my brother be accompanying Natasha and Clint on one?” Thor’s voice was also deceptively calm. Or rather, not deceptively, since calm and quiet couldn’t mean anything good from the otherwise bombastic Asgardian.

It had been quiet, perfect, saintly Cap that had put two and two together, and then figured out how to add negative four to the mix. “You know what, why don’t the four of you go to an early showing, right now? I’m sure they’ll have one.”

Thor’s eyes had narrowed, and he’d gone to stand up.

Cap had gone to his side and put a hand on his shoulder. “Bruce and I have plans for the afternoon, too. I think there are some things the three of us need to talk about, Thor.” Cap had then given him a look that said Bruce was not being included in the conversation either accidentally, or for his scientific skills.

Bruce had casually leaned back in his chair and nodded. “Sounds about right, Steve.” It never failed to amaze Tony how the kind doctor could seem so menacing at times.

Tony had left with the others, mostly hoping that he’d come back to an intact tower. A tiny part of him was hoping for a flattened Thor instead, but he tried to push that down.

Shockingly, not even the furniture had been out of place when the four of them had returned that evening. It looked like a few things might have been moved hastily, and there was a Ming vase conspicuously absent, but if it had spared Loki pain, Tony could easily live with its loss.

They’d had a great afternoon once Loki had calmed enough to be his usual personable self. He was called the trickster for reasons other than his ability to prank, though that was prodigious. He was the life of every party he went to. That sparkling personality was one of the things that had drawn Tony to him. It was one of the reasons that he was such a popular Avenger, despite his beginnings. People who met him wanted to like him. Human people, anyway.

Bruce and Cap had been in the kitchen making ice cream. The second Loki had realized that Thor was gone, the tension went out of him entirely, and he’d been drawn into the adorably old-fashioned process of making ice cream at home. He was so damned cute when he was captivated by such insignificant things.

That night, Tony had tried not to make an issue of it.

Loki saw the questions on his face, though, and sighed with resignation. He sat heavily on the end of the bed. “It’s dishonorable, what we do. At least, it is for me.”

“Not me?” Did the Asgardians give him a free pass because he wasn’t one of them? If they did, was that more or less offensive?

“You… you do not take the role of a woman.” Loki choked it out, after quite a bit of hesitation. A flush was forming on those perfect cheeks. Fuck, were those tears in his eyes?

Tony climbed into his lap, and looked at him hard. “Do you want me to? Would it be better for you?”

Loki couldn’t even find words, apparently. He just shook his head. A tear slipped out and he tried to turn his head so that Tony wouldn’t see. Tony took his face between his hands, and kissed him softly. It wasn’t their usual frenzied kiss, each trying hard to own the other more. It was just… a touch. Completely non sexual.

When Tony leaned in and wrapped his arms around Loki, Loki positively melted into him. Tony was a bit confused, but he sure wasn’t going to stop. He finally admitted to himself after months of denial that he wanted to touch Loki. That it hurt when he thought that Loki didn’t want him to. That he felt things about Loki he didn’t understand, because he was pretty sure he hadn’t felt them before. He and Pepper had been friends before anything else had formed, and their antagonistic friendship had been the center of their relationship. In the end, they’d decided that their friendship was more important to them than sex.

This, though, was different.

Tony was different with Loki. He hadn’t changed for him, but he was different because he was around him. He was willing to do things differently for Loki, break his rules and shake up his whole life, because Loki needed different things than he did. And what Loki needed was important to him.

That was the first night that they slept _together_. No wild sweaty sex as preface. No quiet moving of each to his own side of the bed. Tony had just urged Loki up to the middle, and they lay there in each other’s arms and fell asleep. He woke with Loki’s head resting on his chest, and it felt… peaceful.

All too soon, Cap was pounding on the door. “Waffles!” Such healthy breakfasts they had at the tower…

During breakfast, Loki reached down and took hold of Tony’s thigh, and just _held_ it. Nothing sexual, nothing secret and mischievous. Just what seemed to be an honest wish to be in physical contact. He kept giving Tony sidelong glances – nervous ones. He seemed to think that Tony was going to react negatively. In answer, Tony seamlessly switched to eating left handed, and lowered his right to Loki’s. He squeezed, and left their hands together as they finished eating.

No one commented on anything related, other than Cap saying that Thor had gone to see Doctor Foster, and that he may be gone a few days. Apparently, she had ‘some Earth concepts to teach him.’

Tony smiled serenely, and kept holding Loki’s hand under the table when it squeezed his leg tight upon hearing Thor mentioned. He wondered if a discussion of Odin would end with a broken femur. It was kind of hard to care, though. It felt a little ridiculous to want it so much, but he wanted Loki to touch him. He wanted Loki to _want_ to touch him.

For three nights in a row, they didn’t have sex. They just snuggled up under the covers and slept wound around each other so tightly that Tony started to forget which limbs were his and which belonged to Loki. Especially after his arm or leg fell asleep.

On the fourth night, Loki apologized.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so… not myself.” Loki looked chagrined, as though he’d done something truly awful. The cuddling?

“It’s okay,” Tony grinned at him, “I like this guy, too.”

Loki gave him the dubious look he reserved for when Tony was being especially obnoxious, and climbed on top of him. He ran trembling hands down Tony’s chest. Tony didn’t like that tremble. When Loki started to dip his hands under Tony’s pajama pants, Tony tensed. He didn’t mean to, it just happened.

It made Loki look like the sun had decided not to come up this morning. His voice had come out tiny, and innocent, and _terrified_. “No?” His lip actually trembled.

_Fix it,_ Tony’s brain screamed at him. _Fix it! You can’t lose him over this! This is all stupid fucking Thor’s fault!_

“Is it what you want, Loki?” Tony held his hands tightly, trying to reassure. “Cause you don’t owe me sex.”

Loki looked genuinely confused. “Don’t _you_ want it?”

Laughing, Tony pressed his growing erection up into the man in his lap. “Have I ever not wanted you?” He grasped Loki’s hands as tight as he could, knowing that he couldn’t possibly hurt him. “I only want what you want to give, though. Not what you think you have to give.”

“But…” Loki looked lost. “There’s no reason to keep me, if I can’t…”

Some days, Tony fucking hated Asgard. Knowing that Loki wasn’t going to fight him, he rolled them over until he was lying on top of Loki. Loki made another tentative move toward his pants. Tony grabbed his hands and forced them over his head. Gods, he looked so nervous, so fragile. Immortal, frost giant, sorcerer, god, and general badass, Loki was terrified of a mortal. He was afraid that Tony was done because he hadn’t gotten sex in three whole days, so he was compromising his own mental health to give what he thought Tony wanted.

“I have a reason to keep you.” Tony pushed himself down so that he was face to face with Loki, and rested his forehead gently against his beautiful god’s. “Because I want to.”

Loki frowned, “But if I can’t give you what you want, what you need, then-”

“You’re what I need, Loki.” He kissed Loki on the nose. “If you want to spend the next year doing nothing but cuddling, I’ll live with it. I may spend a lot of quality time in the bathroom with my right hand, but it’s okay.”

Those beautiful green eyes went wide with shock, and a tear slipped through his defenses. “You would…Why?”

Tony sighed. He wasn’t going to get away with going halfway there. Well, if Loki had to risk everything, Tony could do it too. “I love you. I’ll wait as long as you need me to.” Jesus, he couldn’t believe he’d said it. What if Loki laughed at him? Worse, what if Loki felt bad and only stayed because the pathetic mortal needed him?

Loki’s breath caught. “You…”

“Yeah, I love you. Hard to say once, but easier after, huh? I mean, damage done. If you don’t love me, then I’m pretty screwed whether I say it once or a hundred times. I love you, you big beautiful idiot.” Tony lowered his head to Loki’s chest, unable to look him in the eye anymore. God, had he just ruined everything?

“I…” Tony felt Loki swallow hard under his head, and looked up sharply. “I love you.” There was nothing in his eyes but a nervous honesty that Tony felt himself.

They just stared at each other for a long minute, before Loki rolled them back to their original position. That time, his hands were firm and sure when he reached for Tony’s waistband.

A few days later, Cap decided to test Loki’s continuing resolve to avoid group socialization. Loki was always willing to go to fundraising events and parties; places where no one really knew him, and no one knew that his enormous smile was entirely fake. Intimate sociality often bothered Loki, though. It seemed to be on that level with touching. It was something he didn’t understand, and couldn’t put a mask in front of. Again, it was something most of them understood. But they all felt better with an intimate group of friends helping them through, so Cap continued to hope that Loki would, too.

So Cap kept trying.

“Hey, Loki, you want to pick tonight’s movie?” Cap asked casually during dinner.

Clint had his fingers crossed, and seemed to be appealing to a higher power.

Loki looked at them both and frowned. “I don’t really know much about-”

“Yes!” Exclaimed Clint, pumping a fist into the air. “That brings it back to my turn.”

“movies,” Loki continued. “But if you’d like, I would be happy to try, Captain.”

Clint scowled. “But you don’t know anything about movies… Hey,” a sudden grin crossed his face. “Have you ever seen Step Up?”

A collective groan went through the room.

Natasha stood up and grabbed him by the arm. “You are not tainting Loki’s decision with your bizarre teenage-girl taste in movies, Clint.” She dragged him off, telling everyone, “We’ll be back in time for the movie.”

Cap smiled easily, and stood. “I can show you what we have, Loki. It’ll be easier to make a decision that way. And no one but Clint will hold your choice against you, even if it’s bad. I should know, my first pick was terrible.”

And with that, Steve had led Loki downstairs into the designated movie room, so designated because it had a huge television, cushy chairs, a bunch of blankets… oh, and because it was Tony’s tower and he said so. Hah, take that Howard.

When everyone had convened half an hour later, the movie had been chosen. The Disney version of Robin Hood.

Clint groaned. “You picked that for him, Cap!”

“On the contrary, I chose it myself. The Captain seemed concerned about whether I would enjoy it.” Loki was smug. It was so adorable that Tony wanted to kiss him right there in front of everyone.

_Probably not something Loki would thank me for,_ Tony thought sadly to himself, sighing as he settled into a loveseat.

Loki frowned at him, and cocked his head. Then, he proceeded to stun everyone in the room by walking over and draping himself across Tony’s lap. He put his head on Tony’s chest, and angled his long, long legs down the loveseat so that no one else could sit next to them. Then he grabbed a blanket off the top of the loveseat and draped it over both of them and looked at Cap expectantly.

Cap smiled, and put the movie on.

In under half an hour the two of them were sprawled out together, Tony lying behind Loki, both across the loveseat with feet dangling down over the edge.

“I guess this isn’t such a bad movie,” Clint conceded. “Lots of dancing.”

“It’s good,” Natasha agreed.

There were nods all around, and Cap topped it off. “Good call, Loki.”

Loki beamed.

Tony ran a hand down his side, amused at how little it took to make his lover happy. He tried not to dwell on how much disapproval it took to make someone that way.

Unexpectedly, Loki sucked in a breath and leaned in to the hand. It had been decidedly non-sexual, so Tony didn’t think he was looking for something more. He just seemed to want… well, more. Well that was interesting. He ran the hand back up and over Loki’s stomach, petting him in long, soft strokes.

Loki practically curled into him and started purring. Holy hell. This bore further experimentation. He contented himself with just petting for a while. He didn’t want to get too worked up in the middle of the movie, right in front of everyone else. While Loki seemed to just be enjoying the contact, too much more squirming and purring was going to send Tony right to _that_ place. He doubted the others would be amused.

He started playing with Loki’s hair with his left hand. It was something he’d always wanted to do, but had been nervous about, given how Loki didn’t like being touched. The man who was trying to wriggle his way further under Tony’s hand, the man who didn’t like to be touched. Huh.

His hair was just as soft and silken as it looked. Gods, Tony could spend all day doing this. Loki arched his head into Tony’s hand, and he just couldn’t resist bringing the other hand up to join it. He ran them both up Loki’s nape, then along his scalp and up through all that beautiful raven hair. It smelled like Tony’s coconut shampoo, and felt like perfection. Did he have any idea how beautiful he was?

When Tony ran his hands back down Loki’s neck, he let out a little whimper. Tony’s eyes flew to the others. Only Natasha seemed to have noticed, and she looked decidedly amused. Of course, Natasha’s amused look could mean ‘I’m going to kill you in a minute’ as easily as it could mean ‘aren’t you adorable,’ so Tony started to lower his hands.

This, apparently, was the incorrect course of action, as Loki whined louder and pushed his head back into Tony’s hands. Tony couldn’t help a smile, and started running his fingers through Loki’s hair again. He looked up to find that Bruce had joined Natasha’s amused look, though he was still pretending to watch the movie. The scene on screen was hardly intended to amuse, what with someone stealing a kid’s birthday present. Tony was pretty sure Bruce wasn’t into that.

Loki was paying no attention at all to the movie anymore. His every move was designed to get more contact, more of Tony’s hands on him. Tony tried to subtly move his groin away from Loki, since it was responding inappropriately to what was a decidedly innocent situation. Loki was not having it, though, and forced his whole body back against Tony, not seeming to even notice the raging hard on suddenly pressed into his back.

So Tony threw caution to the wind, and just touched. He ran his hands through Loki’s hair, over his scalp, down his neck, his side, his back, his belly… Every part of Loki that was hand-accessible got the treatment. Well, Tony did try to stay away from anything that could be construed as sexual, but really, running your hands all over another person was kind of unavoidably sexual. At least, it was when you already had a sexual relationship with the person in question. Tony had never had the problem with a masseuse.

By the time the movie finished, Tony was massaging Loki’s neck and shoulders, and Loki was leaning into him making little whimpering noises low in his throat.

A pillow bounced off them suddenly, and Loki opened his eyes. Remembering where he was, he flushed. _Crap_ , thought Tony, _not gonna be allowed to do this again_.

But Clint, the pillow thrower, snarked, “Time to get a room, you two, or next movie night, we’ll put you on separate couches.”

Natasha whacked Clint with a pillow of her own. “Oh please, Clint. We’ve done more inappropriate things in actual public places.” She was Tony’s new hero.

Cap, as always, looked a little lost. Little did Tony know, it wasn’t what he thought. “I don’t see the issue. What’s wrong with a little snuggling?”

“In public?” Clint asked incredulously.

Cap just looked more confused. “We’re not in public. And they weren’t even doing anything R rated.” He’d noticed? Holy fuck. Wait. It was okay?

Loki sat up, still blushing. Tony was unbelievably relieved to see that he wasn’t suffering the same… problem that Tony was still hiding under the blanket. On the other hand… Tony had been feeling him up for like half an hour, and it hadn’t done anything for him? It was a little hard not to pout at that.

Clint, however, was visibly shocked.

Natasha laughed at him. “I think you should explain to Loki’s boyfriend why you just checked out his equipment.”

“I did not!” Clint insisted.

Tony made a point of sitting up (blanket still pooled around his midsection, thank you very much.) and looking pointedly at Clint. “Back off Birdie. He’s mine, and you can’t have him.” He put a possessive arm around Loki’s chest and pulled him back.

When no one made disgusted noises or commented other than Clint throwing up his hands in supplication and Natasha laughing again, Loki melted into him with a smile. It was a pleasantly surprised smile.

“Well then,” Cap announced, standing. “I think I’m headed for the gym and then bed. Great night guys, good movie pick, Loki. See you all in the morning.”

Bruce nodded solemnly, standing as well. “I vote Loki should make all of Clint’s movie picks from now on.”

“Hey!” Clint looked personally wounded. Tony wondered if Natasha had laughed this much in years. Her whole life, maybe. She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him off, while he protested the insult to his immense movie-selection prowess.

A moment later, Tony and Loki were alone in the movie room.

Loki looked at him, still surprised. “They know. They all know everything, and they knew, and…”

“You think they didn’t know when they realized we were sleeping in the same room? Or when Cap read Thor the riot act?” Tony pulled him in close. “They’ve known for a while, Babe, and they’re happy for us.”

Loki sat back and looked at him like a little lost kitten. “They… they don’t think I’ll hurt you? Or that one of us is…”

“You’re one of the team now, they trust you as much as… more than they trust me. And they know that what we do in our bedroom is none of their damned business.” Tony went back to petting him.

Loki stilled for a moment. “Our bedroom?” Apparently he’d missed all the references to Loki-and-Tony’s room. It was amazing what a person could overlook in happiness and compliments, when all they had ever received had been condescension and insults.

Tony wasn’t even going to give Asgard the power of mentioning their existence. He grinned. “Our bedroom. Speaking of our bedroom, what say we find our way there and I can touch even more of you? If you want, that is.”

Before he’d even finished the first sentence, Loki had swept him up and started carrying him toward the stairs.

Tony had finally figured it out, though. All those months, everyone thinking that Loki didn’t like to be touched.

It wasn’t that Loki didn’t like to be touched. He just hadn’t known how.


	2. Magicy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is actually not the discussed Thor scene. Geekinglikeaboss wanted some more fluff, so I wrote the part about how they got together to begin with.
> 
> It is still possible that a Thor scene will be forthcoming. Geez, this story is going to be way out of order.

Loki saw him every single day.

It was sort of inevitable, since they lived in the same place. They both lived in _his_ tower. Unfortunately better put, they _all_ lived in his tower.

It had been awkward at first, joining the Avengers. All of them, including Thor, thought he was up to something when he expressed regret at the things he had done, and a fervent wish to do what he could to make it right. Even after determining that he’d been under the control of the tesseract, there had been reservations.

Thor had been the most reserved, but his responsibilities in Asgard had him away most of the time. He had left his friends with a warning that while Loki could be quite charming, Thor believed there to be nothing redeeming left in him. It was a knife in the gut that reminded him of all his time on Asgard. To the others, he put on a smiling face, shrugged, and called Thor something less than kind. Inside, if only to himself, he admitted that it hurt. There had been a time when Thor was the one person he could count on to defend him. It would seem that even the few good things about his childhood were gone. Well, they had been so few to begin with, why try to cling to them? 

The first Avengers to give him a real second chance had been Stark and Barton.

He thought that was odd. The two he had most grievously wronged – mind controlling one, and defenestrating the other. But they had accepted him into the fold with empathetic smiles and complete acceptance. He supposed he could understand Barton. They had experienced the same horrible mind control, and it was hard not to empathize with someone else who had been through that. Stark, he didn’t understand at all.

Little did he know in the beginning, it was to become an everyday feeling.

He and Stark were both early risers, and found themselves in the kitchen at the same time rather often. The only one up before them was the Captain, and he invariably went on his morning run. So it left the two of them on their own in the penthouse.

At first, it was awkward. They were there, together, complete strangers, using the same kitchen. They tried to ignore each other the first time or two, but it didn’t work well. Loki almost broke the coffee machine trying to figure out how the damned thing worked, and Stark almost burned his own kitchen down trying to make toast.

On the third morning, Loki decided that enough was enough.

“I require cream and sugar in that poison you call coffee.” He told Stark matter of factly.

Stark turned to him from the machine and cocked his head in confusion.

“And you like cheese in your eggs, yes?” Loki refused to allow anything stand in the way of his breakfast, not even sexual tension that he refused to acknowledge. Gods, Stark probably didn’t even feel it. By all accounts, his tastes were limited to women.

“Um, yeah. Cheese.” Stark cocked his head the other way, and it reminded Loki of a nervous bird. “You like chocolate?”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “Is that a real question, or are you attempting to determine whether I have no ability to appreciate the finest things Midgard has to offer?”

“Mocha it is,” Stark said enigmatically, and turned back to his machine. Why the damned thing was so complicated, Loki would never understand. How hard could it be to mix burned beans with hot water?

Fifteen minutes later, they both sat down to perfect coffee, cheese omelets, and a selection of fruit that Loki had found in the refrigerator.

They ate in silence for a moment before Stark spoke up. “So this is perfect.”

“Indeed. A most effective breakfast.” Loki agreed cordially. He worked hard to keep his voice from going too friendly. He wasn’t going to beg for the other man’s attention, even if he had somehow made that less than impressive beverage into something fit for the gods. Loki had done enough begging for attention in his life to know that it lead nowhere good.

Tony nodded thoughtfully. “So. Same time, same place tomorrow? I make a mean frappe.”

Loki nodded. “It seems as though our skill sets are complementary. I see no reason not to take advantage of the situation.”

Loki had gathered up the dishes and gone to clean up after both of them. It wasn’t really a favor for Stark. He was just cleaning up anyway. Besides, this way he had his back to Stark. Maybe the man would leave without further need for socialization.

“Yeah,” he heard Stark’s voice behind him. “I’d love to take advantage of that.”

He wasn’t sure what that odd tone had meant, but by the time Loki turned to look at Stark, the man was halfway to the elevator.

Things passed that way for a while, Tony making coffee and Loki making breakfast on weekday mornings. Tony took to calling them ‘breakfast buddies’, and while outwardly Loki gave him an eyeroll, he secretly got a little thrill every time he said it. They were friends. Tony said that they were friends. That was what that meant, wasn’t it?

On the weekends, it was customary for the Captain to make some incredibly unhealthy sweet for breakfast, and Loki adored that. He did like sugar. And the Captain insisted on serving breakfast with juice concoctions that were just as sugary and Loki loved them, too.

On the whole, the situation with the Avengers made him uncomfortable just _because_ he was so incredibly comfortable with it. He loved it. The others treated him with respect, if not love. It was the most he’d gotten of one, and the closest he’d come to the other. (Unless you counted his mother, and who does?)

He wasn’t going to admit it, but he was attached to the Avengers. So in situations that did not involve food, he avoided them. There was no reason to get even more attached, when he knew where that led.

Soon, they would see him in battle one too many times and comment on how he kept to the shadows, using magic and trickery instead of good old-fashioned brute force. They would be reminded of the fact that he spent his free time reading, and that magic – a woman’s art – was his specialty.

Gods forbid that they learn of his sexual proclivities. Thor had nearly killed his first lover when he boasted about making a woman of the second prince of Asgard. Then Thor had nearly killed Loki. Making a mockery of his heritage, Thor had called it. Loki had avoided sexual relationships after that. On the odd occasion they had happened, he had kept them so far from Asgard, court, and Thor, that no one had to know the shameful things he desired.

Soon enough, the Avengers would get over their kind protectiveness, and see him for what he really was. Too soon, in fact.

So he tried to distance himself from all of them. With some, it was easy. Banner was naturally shy and spent most of his time doing whatever it was bio-whatsit doctors did. The assassins were almost always away on ‘missions’. Thor was in Asgard five weeks of six, and he spent half his time on Midgard with that woman of his. The Captain seemed to respect Loki’s wish for privacy. He tried to involve him in ‘group activities’ like game night and movie night, but when Loki said no, he did not press.

The exception to the rule, as always, was Stark.

After a few weeks of cordial breakfasts, it turned into friendly breakfasts. Stark asked him about his plans for the day, never seeming to judge his curt answers of “practicing magic”, or “studying in the library.” In fact, the first seemed to fascinate him, and the second made him act as though Loki has said ‘sparring’. Largely disinterested, but not disgusted.

“So, Professor Snape, no chance you’d let me scan your whole ‘magic’ thing, is there? Y’know, for science. Or posterity. Something convincing like that.” Stark randomly said at breakfast one morning.

Loki didn’t know what a Snape was, but he sincerely doubted it was a kind comparison. “Why?”

Stark actually gave a logical answer. “Amora. She’s kind of dangerous, and I’d like to know more about magic so I can do my part in protecting the team from it. I know magic is your thing, but you’re just one guy, or god, or whatever. You can’t be everywhere at once.”

“You’ve put some thought into this.” Loki was impressed, against his will.

Stark grinned that playboy grin that he always threw around at parties, and Loki found it a little disconcerting when it was turned on him. “You have no idea, Tricky. I’m a driven guy. I decided I wanted something, and I found a way to try to get it. You in, or what?”

Loki was so tempted to bow out. Stark learning the ins and outs of magic was concerning. If anyone could figure out how to neutralize magic, it was he. Loki did not love the idea of anyone knowing how to neutralize him, even if it was an ally. Something in Stark’s tone wouldn’t let him dismiss it, though, and if Loki were being honest with himself, he liked having an excuse to spend more time with the man. So Loki flashed him his best mischievous grin and nodded. “Why not?”

And so Loki found himself in Anthony’s laboratory, surrounded by disturbingly alive metal creatures, feeling both out of place and quite nervous. He was about to announce that he’d changed his mind when Anthony frowned and turned to him.

“This is gonna sound silly, but all that leather is interfering with the instruments. Any chance you could lose it?” He seemed apologetic, but the trickster in Loki detected something else in his tone. Something he couldn’t quite place, but that made him even more nervous.

“You know, I really don’t think this is such a good idea…” He took a tentative step away from all the machines, and one of them waved a fire extinguisher threateningly in his direction.

Anthony frowned at it. “Stop that!” He turned back to Loki. “You’ll have to forgive him. The only thing he’s ever learned how to do is put out fires, and he’s really proud of it. And don’t worry about the naked thing. It’s not like I haven’t seen naked guys before, and I’ll have Jarvis lock the doors and pull the blinds. Right Jarvis?”

The machine’s voice sounded resigned. “Of course, Sir. The doors are locked, and I am currently blacking all windows that look into the lab. Are you quite-”

“That’s great, J. Mute.” He grinned at Loki.

Loki could have sworn he heard the computer sigh. He was still distracted by what Anthony had said before. Anthony had seen men naked? His mind whirled with the possibilities. Bathing in Midgard was solitary; the people were prude to an absurd degree. Where and when would Anthony have seen men naked? Could he…? No. That was patently ridiculous. And why did he need to be naked if the leather was the problem? His undergarments weren’t leather. But Anthony had said naked.

Loki steeled himself, and started stripping his clothes off – the old fashioned way, to try to slow things down. Buckles, clasps, leather ties, and then another layer, and another. Each piece of clothing carefully folded and laid across the back of an office chair. All too quickly, he was completely naked in front of a man that he was attracted to. Everything about the situation screamed “Mistake!” And yet, there he was. He willed his body not to react to whatever came next. It was like Eir checking him over for injury, he told himself. Eir was about as sexy as a stone. Or a horse, despite what bizarre stories the residents of Midgard might tell about him.

_Scientific tests are not sexy, scientific tests are not sexy, scientific tests…_

Oh god. Stark was calmly attaching diodes to his neck, his back, his chest… His hands were so warm, so sure. He knelt in front of Loki to attach more of the little circles just above his hipbones. _Don’t react!_

Too late.

And it was official, Loki had humiliated himself. He blushed bright red and closed his eyes so that he wouldn’t have to see the reproach in Anthony’s eyes. The things Anthony could do with a story like this. Loki would never live it down. Thank the stars, Anthony didn’t comment. He just hummed happily to himself as he worked. Loki snuck a peek at him and found him clipping wires together, and every now and then turning to look at a machine. After a few moments, he turned fully away and leaned down to look at a monitor.

This had to be a bad joke. He had bent over right in front of Loki, when Loki was obviously already struggling? Was he oblivious? Cruel? Horrified and unable to Look Loki in the eye anymore?

After a moment, he straightened and turned back to look at Loki, smiling brightly.

“Okay, I have a good baseline. Now… do something magicy.” Stark looked at him expectantly.

“Magicy? Is that even a word, Stark?” Loki frowned at him, still willing his erection away. How could it possibly be sexy to be naked in front of a fully clothed man?

Anthony grinned. “Who cares if it’s a word? Magicy. Then, we can finish up here, and get to more important things.”

More important things. Loki tried not to let that sting. He knew that Stark was more interested in science than magic, but… There he was, naked and completely exposed to a man that… oh gods, a man that he had some kind of juvenile crush on, and Anthony wanted nothing more than to be rid of him, so that he could get back to his science.

At least that thought was killing his growing problem.

He cast a minor conjuration, making a rose spring from his fingertips. It was one of the earliest spells he had been taught, but it seemed most appropriate. Anthony, however, was impressed. “Freaking cool. Is it a real flower? Like, if you let go, will it still be there? I mean, conservation of matter says you can’t just conjure something out of nothing.”

Loki was impressed; the man had a clue how it worked. “I used the molecules surrounding us to create it – humidity, air, dust... Their makeup is not so different than its own; I merely rearranged them into a shape of my choice. As such, it is as real as you or I.” He had no idea what he was thinking, but he reached the flower out and brushed it across Anthony’s cheek, then after checking it for thorns, he tucked it behind the other man’s ear.

What the hell was he thinking? Romantic gestures to a man who barely thought of him as an ally? He wanted nothing more than to wake up back in his room and pretend that nothing had happened. _It was evil Loki, you see. My twin who goes around hitting on people whom I do not find remotely attractive. Because like every proper warrior, I like women! The more breasts, the better._

It was too late, though, and the damage was far past done. Anthony ran a hand down his cheek were Loki had caressed it with the flower, and then touched the flower. “How long will it live?” He whispered.

Hmm. “How long do you want it to live, Anthony?”

“Forever.” Anthony never was interested in the simple things. He always demanded the near-impossible, and half the time he figured out how to make it happen.

“It’s just a flower, Anthony. It isn’t meant to live forever. Its job in this circumstance is to look pretty, smell sweet, and be ‘magicy’.” Loki glanced meaningfully at the machines.

“Magi-” Stark followed his eye gaze. “Right! Magic. Forgot. Ummm, lemme see if we got anything.”

That was unexpected. Stark was distracted from science by magic tricks? Or had it been something else?

“Hey, I got a tremor! The machines registered a power spike!” His voice was like a child about to get a gift on his birthday. He spun back to Loki. “Could you do something… you know, magicier?”

“Are we still speaking English, or have you invented your very own language?” Loki raised an eyebrow at him.

“What the hell, it worked for Shakespeare. We didn’t even have a word for elbows till he came along.” Stark – Anthony – was breathing hard, like he’d just sprinted up the stairs. Trust Loki to fall for a man whose true love was gears and circuits.

Wait… fall for? No, that was an overstatement. He just found the man attractive. He didn’t want to… what was it the Midgardans say? Pick out china patterns? He didn’t imagine he’d look good in a long white gown anyway. And Thor would kill him once and for all, for sullying the good name of the all-father, and for taking advantage of one of his shield-brothers.

“Lokes?” Anthony put a hand on his shoulder. “You okay? We… we don’t have to do this.” Gods, he actually sounded concerned. Loki looked up to find worried brown eyes searching his face. Their eyes met and traveled to where Anthony was touching him, and the man pulled his hand away as though he’d been burned. “Sorry! Sorry, I know you don’t like it when…”

“I am fine, Anthony.” He took the flower from Anthony’s ear, noting with interest that the man frowned at its removal.

It was the perfect time for an epiphany.  He had liked Loki’s gift, even though it had been made with magic. And it didn’t matter what else he thought of Loki. Loki liked him. Loki liked him as he hadn’t liked anyone in centuries. His child-like innocence, his love for his friends, his excitement for almost every aspect of life that others took for granted; Loki loved all those things. Anthony Stark had awoken part of Loki that he’d thought long dead.

He held the flower in front of him, and focused his newfound emotions on it. The hope and trust that the Avengers had inspired. The faith in himself that they encouraged at every turn. The innocent beauty of Anthony Stark wanting a magical rose to live forever. Anthony cared so much for a piece of magic that he wanted to keep it. Loki wondered in passing if he could ever feel that way about users of magic…

The rose opened into full bloom, and then froze there.

“That’s pretty cool. Was it magicie-” Anthony turned to look at his machine in the middle of the sentence and froze. “Whoa. What the hell did you do?”

Shoving back all the pathetic emotion that had welled up, he blinked repeatedly and shrugged. “You said you wanted it to live forever.”

Anthony’s mouth fell open. “You… you’re serious. You just made it…” He leaned in and stared at the flower as though it was suddenly vastly more interesting. “It’ll live forever?”

Loki thought about it for a moment. “I don’t know about forever. I’m not sure I have strong enough emotions in that arena to instill that kind of life.”

Anthony cocked his head in that funny way he did when something was confusing. “Huh? Why do you need strong emotions to…”

“Destructive spells are easy. All they require is anger. Life, creation, and healing require softer things that are not my specialty.” Loki shrugged apologetically. “It probably won’t live terribly long, given the pathetic diet I have with which to feed it.”

“What did you… feed… it with?” Anthony looked genuinely curious, slipping the flower back out of Loki’s hands and caressing his own cheek with it. Loki had to keep his hand from following suit. His cheek would be just a bit rough from the goatee, but Loki was sure that those lips would be as soft as the rose that was trailing across them. Anthony looked up at him expectantly.

“Nothing of importance.” Loki stared as the rose brushed across those beautiful lips, and as Anthony stopped to sniff the flower. “I should go. Are we finished, here?”

“Not by a long shot, Tricks.” Anthony set the flower down near the machine. “But we should get these diodes off.”

“If we aren’t finished, surely you’ll need them?” Loki wanted rid of them, but he didn’t really want to go through this again.

“Nah, got the basics. Of course, you’re more than welcome to come help with my research any time you want.” Anthony walked behind him and started detaching diodes.

“I am not much for your Midgardian science, Anthony. I think I shall stick to my – your – library.” Damn. Why couldn’t he even have a simple conversation without saying something foolish?

Anthony just grinned. “It can totally be your library. The rest of us eggheads use tech to get our reading fixes in, so the paper books are all yours.”

All his? Obviously, Anthony didn’t mean it in a literal sense, but…

Loki pulled his clothes on, mindful and attempting to hide that he was still rather uncomfortable, but it went quickly.

“I don’t know how you wear all that stuff all the time. I could buy you some ‘Midgard’ clothes if you want. They’d be easier to wear.” Loki turned to the sound of Anthony’s voice, and found the man watching him dress. Gods, how humiliating. Not only exposed to Loki’s inappropriate urges, but actually watching.

How long before everyone else knew? Would they find it amusing, the haughty prince brought low so easily? Or would they be disgusted, as Thor was, and tell him he was shaming his family? Oh gods, would they tell Thor? It would be the end of his time trying to make amends, and he had so much left to do, to rebuild, to fix. Thor would take him back to Asgard for certain, if he thought that Loki was trying to force his sexual deviancy on Anthony.

He turned pointedly away from the other man to finish dressing, and tried to school his breathing. He and Anthony had been friend…ly. Perhaps he could talk him into not telling the others. It would require him shaming himself utterly by admitting that he had reacted as he had, and Anthony would surely never speak to him again…

Then he felt Anthony’s hand on his shoulder again, so softly that he could barely feel it through his shirt, trailing lazily around to his front. “Where’s the fire? It’s not midnight, Cinderella. We’ve got all day.”

Maybe he hadn’t even noticed, by some massive miracle. Loki had to go, to get out, before things changed. “I have other things to do. I need to-”

“Go read books in the library?” Anthony asked amusedly. “You know… you could always read books here instead.”

“In your laboratory? Why would I do a thing like that?” Loki was dubious. What would all the grease and machines do to a fine book?

“Yeah, in my lab. Is that such an awful idea, hanging out with me?” Anthony looked somewhere between amused and hurt. Hurt?

Loki paused a moment, and tried to phrase his words diplomatically. “I assumed you would wish to be alone in your studies. I am told that you do not take kindly to interlopers.”

Anthony stopped right in front of him, almost uncomfortably so, his hand still trailing around Loki’s shoulder. “But you’re not an interloper. I invited you. And I’m inviting you to stay.” His voice had taken on a quality Loki hadn’t heard in it before, and whatever it was made his groin react with even more force than before.

Then Loki’s paranoia won a round. “Did Thor put you up to this? Is this a test?”

Anthony looked genuinely confused. “A test of what? Am I somehow encouraging you to kill me?”

“A test of… I am no woman, Stark. Make no mistake about this.” Loki drew himself up to his full proud height.

Anthony grinned. “You think there’s any way I wouldn’t know that, after seeing all you’ve got to offer? And I gotta say, it’s a hell of a package.”

Loki blushed from his toes to his forehead. “What?” It came out a bit squeaky, to his shame, but it did manage to come out.

“A man, Lokes. All man, in fact.” Anthony further invaded his personal space, pressing his face up to within a few inches of Loki’s. “And I hope you won’t be offended to hear that I took myself a nice, long look. You’re one fucking hot man.”

Loki was quite literally dumbstruck. He just stood there and blinked.

“Now, I’m not gonna say the leather wasn’t interfering with my scans, but… oh, fuck it, the leather didn’t make a damned bit of difference. I just wanted to see you naked.” Anthony’s lips were literally brushing against his own, suddenly. A horrifically unmanly whimper escaped him. “And fuck, but you look amazing naked. Also, unless I’m greatly mistaken, you like being naked for me, Loki.”

“You…” Loki tried to speak, but it came out strangled, and he gasped. “This was all a ploy? You never…”

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll get some use out of the scans.” Anthony picked up the rose, and ran it down Loki’s nose and lips. “But I’m more interested in seeing what comes next with the naked part.”

Loki tried not to stutter, but failed. “Y-y-you want-”

“You, Tricksy. I want you.” Anthony put his arms around Loki’s waist and pushed him back against the nearest work table. “I want you under me, moaning my name, begging me to fuck you.”

Loki grasped his upper arms tightly and held them in place. “This is what you want. It isn’t some kind of trick, or power play, or attempt to dishonor me and send me back to Asgard in shame?”

Stark grinned. “No trick. You’re hot, and smart, and I want to fuck you. No power play, unless you count the fact that I want to hold you down and make you call me your god. I sure as fuck don’t want you to go anywhere but my bed, least of all Asgard. That about cover everything?”

In less than a minute, Loki’s clothes were off again, this time strewn across the floor.


End file.
